the crafty cameleon: Goodbye Pinterest! Welcome All that Glitters

image credit: found here

I don't konw what got into me last summer. That's when the glitter bug took a bite of me. I started to imagine glitter in the most GLAM kind of ways and it made me wonder, what can I find, but then wicked pinterest with all of it's stuck up ways about being elitist and cliquish kicked me off the site. (I had not done one thing wrong.) In truth I think my being on pinterest caused a war of sorts. The hedge funds guys objected because they need me to stay where I belong (on Google). I mean me being on pinterest was making wall street shake with panic. My tendency to know what is going to move markets is something you either are born with or not. Like that time me and my mom (Einstein) spent all day just to select fabric for my suit jacket and matching skirt. In the end I wanted the lavender with little hot pink roses. We sewed up the outfit. A month or so later A big department store had racks of clothes made in my fabric and that's when I knew ....you either have it or you don't. So with me wasting away the hours on pinterest (wicked pinterest) that just made the trend worlds have nightmares and they cried out: "Release her this minute from your bloody pinning hell! (one hedge fund guy was heard shouting into his speaker phone) Or I'll jump!!!" That was the last day and there was an abrupt end to what was once what will go into my book as the wasted weeks of the summer of 2011. It was wild. It was so wild it spilled over (the menacing wicked pinterest) onto twitter. Suddenly attempts were being made to Thwart my twitter tweets. "WARNING" it said "WARNING" this user may harm your computer. I'd had quite enough of that. I was tired of what I decided were "fake warnings". So one day I said to Twitter I said (In the voice of Ronald Regan where he said: Mr. Gorbachev... Tear Down This Wall.) I said "Twitter you stop sending me fake malware warnings Okay?" And just like that the warnings ceased to appear. Life after pinterest was an adjustment I'm not going to say it was easy. The bad things all went away (sort of). I had to learn how to use my intuition which pinterest was trying to kill :( So that's what I wanted to tell you, I just wanted to point out that it was a matter of leverage. Wall Street needed me back at my post predicting futures and making markets move. The money guys said "Now look here Mr. Ben or whatever your name is, you give us our crafty cameleon back by god (he shouted"). Ben almost cried but mustered his courage as he spoke into his Iphone4: "Hedge fun guys, first and foremost, we salute you, we hear your pain, we know it's real, after reflecting on this crisis we want to mitigate the downturn as quickly as is humanly possible. After coming up with a way to meet your demand we promise you the money guys we are releasing Michele AKA the crafty cameleon back into the water. Furthermore we are deeply sorry for any markets that may have plunged or suffered as a result of her captivity (hypnotized by pin boards) at pinterest." "Well you should be sorry by god.....She's been to Hollywood, She's been to Redwood, She's crossed the oceans for a heart of Gold, so don't ever (pause phone drops) "never ever do that again Mr. Ben!" (Ben promises (on his knees now) saying "No sir never ever again). The curse was over. And the hedge Fund guys all sang: